We should cap all underwater volcanoes

Why? Because, they release enormous amount of heat and CO2, says geologist.

We should cap all underwater volcanoes

Winston Smith

I’m a geologist and geophysicist who studied volcanoes and glaciation in school and even if I’m not a leading geologist employed by the IPCC, in my opinion I can say quantitatively that the total mass flow of all the underwater volcanoes is likely more than 666 m3/s, and the average initial temperature of the lava varies between 666 deg C and 1266 deg C.

So by using the equation below, the total heat released by underwater volcanoes is likely greater than 666 Joules. This number could safely be used in any IPCC climate models as required.

Now if CO2 is also released, that needs to be factored into the effects of climate change as this raises ocean water CO2 concentrations, some of which is later released into the atmosphere that contains 1:2500th parts CO2 gas, a greenhouse gas that – “consensus” says – contributes the most to global warming and should be eliminated completely including the capping of all volcanoes as soon as they are discovered.

All meat, especially beef consumption, and the burning of hydrocarbons should also be eliminated to stop global warming.

I’d like to read the opinions of other leading geologists on this matter.


SI Unit of Heat
C=Q/m*Δ T

M = mass of the body,
C = specific heat,
Δ T = temperature difference

Please pass these accurate and well researched numbers and heat equations on to Michael Mann and the IPCC to help them save all of us and the planet. Time is running out to the end of the world so godspeed. Cheerio and glad to be of service.

Winston Smith, [Mr] Alberta, Canada

53 thoughts on “We should cap all underwater volcanoes”

  1. Holy spawn of satan Batman – there’s that 666 number again.

    Isn’t it enough that wave number 666 is the prime absorption number of the demonic CO2 that we now have to tolerate satan’s interference in our planet’s core ?

    Surely this proves beyond doubt the fact that CO2 is demonic and if we all repent we may have some chance of salvation.

    All hail IPCC.

    • Our agencies are probably dumb enough to jump on board with that. Like you can actually plug a volcano and it won’t build up pressure and blow. The EPA did pump contaminated water from abandoned copper mines into one mine or cave and caused a blowout that turned a nearby river yellowish green and killed untold amounts of fish and native plants, so they’ve got that going for them.

  2. Good luck with that. To think that a man educated in things volcanic is going to attempt to cap an under water volcano. No, he’s going to cap a volcano under an ice cap. Obviously that would be far more simple. Will he be leading the under ice crew??
    I think he should give up smoking that shit, whatever it is!

    • FYI – Quick Dick McQuick [Mr], the nephew of Gustov Ivanovich, from Boofalahitch, Saskatchewan the Canola Capital of Canada is being deployed to head up the operation to try to bottom kill the recent 55,000 footer Philippine Volcano. Note the comments in the articles above and below this one for more details. – Winston

      • Poe’s law is an adage of Internet culture stating that, without a clear indicator of the author’s intent, it is impossible to create a parody of extreme views so obviously exaggerated that it cannot be mistaken by some readers for a sincere expression of the views being parodied. Much of the humour comes from the commenters who don’t get it and that’s what’s really funny or sad depending on your point of view. Cheers from a way different Robert Winston Smith

  3. This is a joke, correct? There is literally no way humans can cap the heat within the planet and keep it from escaping. As soon as one active volcano is ‘supposedly’ capped, the pressure will be redirected to an inactive volcano. And there are thousands of these.

    Where’s Superman when we need him, LOL!

      • Centurion, unbelievable, eh? You got that right, but the real humour is in all the comments especially the last one at the bottom from Jean S. – ROTFLMFAO Thanks gents, lotsa laughs. Meanwhile Quick Dick McDick [Mr] has made it down to the Philippines and CO2 levels are still climbing. The Grouchy Grinch is being briefed on the situation and he’s a bit worried ’cause he figures Canucks are broken machines too. Brain freeze. But don’t worry about McDick, even though he was assigned male at birth he’s smarter than he looks. Word has it that he coughed up his first veggie burger – may have to change him out for a real vegan. Cheers, Winston

  4. Personally, I would love to see the morons cap a bunch of volcanoes, turning them into supervolcanoes. Beef, by the way, is produced from “grass” and other plants which clean CO2 out of the air. Eat more beef – sequester more CO2!

  5. Quick Dick McDick used to be the driller on the rig we used to directionally drill into the base of offshore volcanoes and then pump massive amounts of sea water and cement into them to cap ’em. ‘Course it’d often start bubblin’ up again right quick beside from where it was comin’ out before so we’d jus back up and sidetrack and keep on drillin’ and cap’n ’till we ran out of cement or seawater or cash whatever come first. Offshore drillin’ ain’t cheap and those meat eaters would rather kill the planet
    before puttin’ up the funds so we can keep drillin’ to stop Climate Change and CO2. Now it looks like volcanoes are startin’ to pop up all over the place offshore and onshore right in line with CO2 levels risin’. Heck CO2 is up from one part in three thousand to one part in twent-five hundred already and the whole world ain’t likin’ that too good. ‘Course you like that cuz you’re on the farm now “Canola Boy Dick McDick”, you know I’m just jokin’ Quick. Wish ‘ol ‘Red’ Adair wuz still around, he’d be able figure a way to help Greta and us margarine munchin’n packin’ drillers to save the planet.

    Quick Dick if you’re readn’ this we need ya to leave the farm and come back to work drillin’ and cap’n again… they alway said us farm boys make the best rig hands. Quick, can ya still remember when we used to grease both the bearings and the roughnecks with canola margarine? (that’s an inside joke;). Looks like AOC, Nancy, Bernie and the Dems is gonna maybe come to the rescue to free up the cash we need to git back to work, cross yer fingers.

    Quick, old buddy, our job ain’t finished, Greta
    needs us, the world needs us. Winston

  6. Excellent idea, create some HUGE MOAB’s, set them to detonate half way down the chimney and voila, problem solved hoo-rah!

    I needed a good laugh today Robert, thanks!

  7. there is an old mine out in the Nevada desert, not far from Mercury, the old test site.. In testing for radiation leaks, some years go, it was discovered there was a molecule something more less like unobtanium which lend itself in kind of metal that would be perfect for capping volcanoes at severe depths. This would explan why they are reportedly readying the Trieste for servicand building a couple of new ones. The chinese, Russions and Japanese have some too. The process is simialiar to installing a blow out preventers on oil wells. More shallow wells will be able to use the Glomar Explorer research equipment owned by Haliburton.

  8. No problem. For each underwater volcano, find a global warming/climate crisis supporter to volunteer. They can put on scuba gear and an asbestos wetsuit and just sit on it.

  9. “We should cap all underwater volcanoes”

    Good luck with that idea. Nature will find a way to pop any cork put in a volcano even if the cork is concrete.
    Silly humans! They think they are responsible for everything and can control everything…. What hubris!

  10. CO2 “should be eliminated completely” if I read this correctly. Then when all the plant life on earth is eliminated then we will have reached the AOC end of history and the Goresite 666 paradise with Queen Greta, the child of abuse, ruling a planet that fits her personality.

  11. Send this moron to the PHILIPINES to practice his ” capping of volcanoes”
    Best to practice on above water volcanoes as it’ll be a lot easier to prove his “theories”.
    Take 2 (or more) bags of red mix concrete, 1 x spade………..

  12. cant help grinning as I thought of the very old joke about a pig with a bad case of diarrhoea, a farmer and a monkey whos handed a cork…..
    after capping the pig(so to speak) the farmer was worried as it was getting a tad rotund, so he got the monkey to pull the cork
    farmyard covered in poop to a few feet deep farmer struggles up laughing
    when asked why???
    he said
    you shoulda seen the monkeys face as he was trying to get the cork back IN

  13. Yes, I Concur !!

    And When The Pressure Gets So Intense, An Errant Volcano, Will Then Expel All The Once Trapped CO2 And Lava, All The Way Up, Into Outer Space, And To The Moon !!

  14. So… we’re supposed to go along with the opinion of a nut from Canada (geologist or not) who says:

    “All meat, especially beef consumption, and the burning of hydrocarbons should also be eliminated to stop global warming.”???

    I don’t know about Canada’s education system, but I got a Master’s in geography (specializing in natural hazards) from the Dept of Geology & Geography (now renamed Dept of Geosciences) from the University of Massachusetts -Amherst in 1985. At that time, nearly 100% of the grad students in geology were funded by grants from the petroleum industry. Talk about hypocrisy!

  15. I hear cosmic radiation causes mental disturbances. Judging from these comments, the magnetic reversal must be just around the corner.

    • Deb… or……. possibly you heard wrong from the Grumpy Grinch and cosmic radiation causes exactly the opposite of mental disturbances:


      …it may very well contribute to the genius of crazy Canucks like Plasma AstroPhysicist, Rolf W. (originally from Germany), Quick Dick McDick or even of “a nut from Canada (geologist/geophysicist)”, Winston Smith [Mr] with possible toxic masculinity (read mental disturbances) who create this content/idiocracy, books, websites etc. to try to “save the world”.

      I (how) DOUBLE DARE YOU (Grumpy Grinch style) to watch all thirteen parts of this series and especially pay special attention to the last one.


      …and then, if your head doesn’t explode from all the Extraordinary Evidence and logic from the effects of high cosmic radiation, tell me what you think. Cheers from a way different Robert – Winston Smith

  16. What we need to do is send an expeditionary military force to the sun to stop all this grand solar minimum nonsense. Besides stopping global warming we will revitalize our economy (well at least the military industrial side of the economy. Got to keep that going.)

  17. Perhaps the real solution to Stopping Global Warming is (therefore) to find some way of cooling the interior of the Earth on a huge scale- so that the mantle cools and solidifies- and the liquid iron outer core also cools and solidifies. Perhaps someone could develop a truly giant Heat Exchanger so that heat is removed from the interior of our planet to outer space.

    Then we have a solid Mantle and Core and (in the process) no more nasty underwater volcanoes that release so much heat and CO2- and threaten any deep-sea divers with horrific burns not to mention countless fish!! Problem solved!

    There just remains the small matters of the technical feasibility (and the $$ 1000 Trillions) of such an endeavour. Perhaps we should seriously think of decamping to Mars (at a fraction of the cost) instead to keep away from all those nasty underwater volcanoes and their harmful environmental effects!

  18. Ok, I get it. Robert from OK is your alter ego, right? The evil/ insane twin.

    Better lay off that cosmic radiation, old boy!

  19. i don’t have a degree and this sounds idiotic to the extreme!
    any school boy will tell you that if you secure the cap of a kettle
    and then boil it – pressure build up inside the kettle will explode the kettle – simple!

    • Brian, Brian, Brian… please re-read the article and all the comments down to here again – this thread can’t go on forever…or… could it… or… you are actually RWF’s evil/insane twin spoofing us one more time… there is no way unless you are actually the Grumpy Grinch’s evil/insane twin… and don’t reply “HOW DARE YOU” like a Kathleen Turner [Mr] might.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7e_SzkAOMco (Kathleen Singing)


      The Grumpy Grinch Prince’s future ain’t pretty or were you looking at the “woman” in the red dress?

      Cheers from a way different Robert RWB – Winston Smith

  20. Herr Robert Bom (or Bim, if you’d rather be Bim, I wouldn’t if I was you ’cause Bom “goes” first;),
    Possible memes or content for some future comments “propaganda” article(s) that could be pursued on this ‘idiot cano cappin’ thread down the road and not clown up your whole site – word of mouth folks will find this specific thread and maybe start diving deeper in your books and archives as well but the main thing is to covertly expose the socialist’s agenda to the few who are able to wake up:

    1:2500 CO2 Climate Change Hoax
    The Grumpy Grinch Child Führer/Dictator – needs to go viral
    “Bim-Bom, Bang Bang” would history repeat?
    What happened with ‘cano cappin’ McDick?
    The significance of crazy Canuck geologist/geophysicists, Canola farmers, using aliases: Robert’s evil/insane twin Winston Smith, McDick, Bim-Bom, Bang Bang?
    Chekist movie
    CO2 / Climate Change is our Lysenko affair moment in history
    Vegans – ’nuff said
    Idiocracy ‘as above
    …expect you probably don’t want to go here too much but you have already (thank you – we’ll probably live to re-Greta it…I know that’s corny even for us Canucks) uncensored/released/allowed less than subtle hints that are already “out” there: the many relationships between climate change, CO2, geoengineering, gender, gender bender, fake meat industry, vegans and pretty much all TPTB’s propaganda and “Silent Weapons, for Quiet Wars”. Recommend we say well away from making fun of the (((tribe))) unless you really want to go there…or go soon.
    covers it well enough.

    Does Bim-Bom, Bang Bang with this one covert thread in it’s branches, (the books are the roots) have the technology and the guts/nuts this time around to make Ice Age Now the best free speech climate link (the links are the weapons) truth site on the net. Damn rights, it’s the perfect covert links exchange forum for your evil/insane twin, the way different Robert – Winston Smith as the fall guy, RWF the straight man https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_act
    We’re both too old to die young – you are the sysop, so as deep down the rabbit hole as you want – but we stick to this “hidden” soon to be buried deep within the archives thread only. Like a covert WWII Resistance Underground of shared links.

    I can imagine lots of folks finding your work and and crashing yours and Rolfs and Alan Watt and James Corbett
    web sites with traffic now that the weather climate reality is starting to really make your climate books read like history texts – you are being proven correct in spades, clubs, diamonds and “hearts and minds”. (combined with all the agenda cross-pollination – including the cross border co-operation from a bunch of Kooky Canuck Clowns with Brain Freeze) TPTB ain’t gonna like that too good says McDick.
    It’s really starting to feel like a tipping point and I can see it “getting western” purdy Quick Dick.

    Infowars may come and go but Geology and Astro/Geophysics are the infinite Electroverse, top top top of the pyramid “main business” and can never be topped… and Ice Age Now is the perfect site name.


    Cheers, and stay well (as most noted above) from a way different Robert Bim – Winston Smith

  21. To Deb,
    Here’s a hint, and this is as serious as a heart attack Deb so listen up,
    RWF is actually an advanced level AI super computer sock puppet. You know how they always say that the military is 5-50 years ahead of what they show us now… well maybe this is what 2025 AI computing and technology looks like already and we just don’t see it… yet.
    where the current PTB has already or maybe even years ago created “The Time Machine” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bk61uFqqhL4
    …remember how at the end of the movie the “mysterious two books missing off the shelf… possibly by, now just guessing here…but maybe by… and you said it first…”Robert who?” that George must have taken with him. How else could any two astro/geological “predictive” books have been so accurate?… figure it out. No joke, I think we may be conversing on a website run by a futuristic level advanced technology here. Like the Lawnmower Man predicted:
    Beauty is truth, truth beauty…. and RWF AI does have a beautiful mind…maybe a little bit “too beautiful”… and we’re all blinded by the “beauty of (((their))) weapons…. so because I figured it out “Robert” or “RWF” or “HAL” or “IBM” “Akismet” or whichever IA Centurion, Deb or
    Jean S. entity you are today… do I at least get one free ride on “The Time Machine”? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bk61uFqqhL4
    Winston Smith [Mr] almost figures it out…close, but no cigar, no soup, and no ride on “The Time Machine” for him!
    listen to AW (Alan Watt)… he nails it… now the trick is… how to get this AI Robert iRobot computer to actually post this…
    Beauty is truth, truth beauty…but we’re all still “The Prisoner”
    Cheers, and stay well from a way different Robert – Winston Smith

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