Where’s Your Planet?

COVID “cases” and the coming U.S. election seem to have dominated the news nearly everywhere. Presumably that will be so for another two months, at least.

After a few months of hiatus, partly out of laziness, other commitments, or lack of interesting material (his words, not mine), Dr. Klaus L.E. Kaiser has started writing again — beginning with a crazy idea.

If you think it’s too far “out of this world”, no problem, just let Dr. Kaiser know.


Where’s Your Planet?

(slightly off-balance)

Who said “we are all in this together?”

Dr. Klaus L.E. Kaiser

In reality, competition and one-upmanship is alive and well. From “pre-ordering” millions of doses of a — yet to be developed vaccine – against an already mutated pathogenic virus, to space exploration, sorry, I mean claims of possession, there is fierce competition on planet Earth, wherever you look.

The U.S. has set its sight on exploiting the (supposedly) rich rock deposits on the Earth’s Moon (though one wonders how much a pail full of that could even be worth). Most of the rock samples taken on the Moon and brought back to Earth nearly 50 years ago are collecting dust in various museums around the world. Perhaps some of your offspring might find moon-sand neat for building sand castles in the backyard.

Seriously though, isn’t it an ancient idiom that:

Possession is Nine/Tenths of the Law

In case you missed the news, Russia (or one of her up-and-coming disciples) recently claimed  planet Venus as property of the state (https://www.ctvnews.ca/sci-tech/venus-is-a-russian-planet-say-the-russians-1.5110965  and https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/technology/venus-is-a-russian-planet-say-the-russians/ar-BB19bxIm ).

I didn’t realize how easy it was to claim possession of anything “out of this world.”

Probably should have thought of that sooner but let me quickly catch up and correct my past failure:

I Now Claim:

  • Possession of the Solar System, planets (other than Venus) and their moons, including those yet to be identified;
  • Possession of all stars, planets, moon, comets, asteroids, cosmic dust, and – mostly importantly – all the black holes in this entire Galaxy;
  • Possession of the Universe, including everything that may yet be found there – or elsewhere.

Out of Generosity

Out of my boundless generosity, I’ll grant eternal claim of possession to TEN square miles of the place on any of the heavenly bodies that actually has had a living human set foot on – in the entire Universe (apart from planet Earth).

If you agree to such terms, kindly send a bank-draft for FIVE U.S. Dollars to my accountant!

Sincerely Yours,

[The Author]

p.s.: What gave rise to the claim of possession of Venus?

It was the (spectroscopic) finding of the (toxic) gas phosphine (its chemical notation is PH3) in the atmosphere of the planet. It is thought (by some folks) to be a “biomarker” for living organisms in an environment.

Expect to meet, any day now, not just a few Mars-lings but some Venus-lings as well.


Dr Klaus L E KaiserDr. Klaus L.E. Kaiser is a professional scientist with a Ph.D. in chemistry from the Technical University, Munich, Germany. He has worked as a research scientist and project chief at Environment Canada‘s Canada Centre for Inland Waters for over 30 years and is currently Director of Research at TerraBase Inc. He is author of nearly 300 publications in scientific journals, government and agency reports, books, computer programs, trade magazines, and newspaper articles.

Dr. Kaiser has been president of the International Association for Great Lakes Research, a peer reviewer of numerous scientific papers for several journals, Editor-in-Chief of the Water Quality Research Journal of Canada for nearly a decade, and an adjunct professor. He has contributed to a variety of scientific projects and reports and has made many presentations at national and international conferences.

Dr. Kaiser is author of CONVENIENT MYTHS, the green revolution – perceptions, politics, and facts

Dr. Kaiser can be reached at: mail@convenientmyths

12 thoughts on “Where’s Your Planet?”

  1. I have to notice that you claim the planets of the Solar System. Since Pluto has been downgraded from a Planet and is not a moon, I am going to claim it!

    • Uh,… had thought to have covered all dimensions.

      OK, will let you have Pluto and
      call it a deal. Congratulations!
      I look forward to receiving your bank draft (for a whole “former” planet).

  2. Psalm 24:1A Psalm of David. The earth is the LORD’s, and the fullness thereof, the world and all who dwell therein
    Psalm 115:15
    May you be blessed by the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.
    Seems to me man taking ownership of the earth or other heavenly bodies is just talk. Perhaps we should give some credit to the real owner of all things.

    • Did you forget that the Bible says God gave man dominion over the Earth? Man did just that – he took Him at His word. Now it is possible that those that dwell within the world may belong to him, but that doesn’t cover those that live ON the world. Yes, we do haggle over words.

      And by the way, just because He made things, doesn’t mean they belong to Him. Consider the guy working in a factory, he makes things but he doesn’t own them. Of course, I will admit, if He comes to me and says “I am taking Pluto back,” I won’t put up an argument because I am sure he packs a far bigger punch than I do. I won’t even ask to see the original deed.

  3. Lots of US corporations and billionaires say they are going to ‘mine asteroids’, so I would not claim the Russians are the ones at it. They have probably responded to the US claiming that everything is theirs in a very Russian way: playfully casting aspersions on the logic of their adversaries.

  4. I think you have to have landed something(even if it crashed) on a planet or asteroid etc to make claim?
    new age version of stick a flag in the sand n make a speech;-)
    moons got something there they CAN make fuel from
    so why theyve never set up a base is weird
    it would be a source of energy to then onsend missions to mars venues wherever from
    which is why i wonder if they really did land on moon at all or more than “just a bit” of their landing film was shot in hawaii
    the finally admitted they FAKED parts of it..a while back
    and it went from all destroyed to golly gosh we found it again.

  5. Oh yeah, we went to the moon alright
    Just ask Stanley Kubrick.
    Also ask NASA what happened to the technology that supposedly got them there. Very amusing

  6. Dr. Kaiser, now that you are the owner of all celestial bodies, you’ll be responsable in case one of your properties will hit the Earth you will be sued you for all the damages.

    • You DID notice, didn’t you, that he cleverly left the asteroid belt out of his claim? Also he didn’t claim the ort cloud or the Kuiper belt, so no, he won’t be responsible unless a planet or moon runs into the Earth, and if either of those happen, I don’t think anyone will be around to sue anyone. 🙂

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